Lovesick Mistake
by Elizabeth Gray
Summary: Takes place when Clary is musing about her and Jace's relationship as brother and sister. Does her life truly revolve around something she can never have? One shot; character oriented


**Warning: Character oriented one shot, no action scenes or exciting plot twists!**

Lovesick Mistake

Clary folded herself in her arms, never feeling more exposed than she did now. She shivered, the fall air was coming in now lacking the warmth and familiarity that summer had left behind as the lingering green in the leaves. She couldn't describe what she was feeling now as he walked down the street. Her head seemed fuzzy as nothing was clear in her life. She closed her eyes and breathed in the brisk air, smelling the cinnamon buns from the bakery. She felt the familiar twist in her stomach at the feeling.

It was one she had felt so many times before, that feeling to dig deeper, to experience more of the painful bliss, the feeling that changed her entire self. God it was just so…so wrong but the worst thing as that she enjoyed it! It was one of the worst things love could ever do to her, allow her to change so much…allow him to let her change so much! Clary glanced around and shivered, self conscious of her appearance.

Everything was happening so fast, the world was spinning so fast that she couldn't seem to keep up. Meeting _him, _the dates, the kisses and everything in between. She could feel the blush coming on even now. It was nothing like she had ever experienced before. Yet she had changed so much. She had learned of _their _world, allowed herself to be dragged into it. Clary looked at the black lines etched into her skin. She had changed so much she had barely recognized herself.

No more carefree days with Simon or lounging at home playing WoW. No, now she knew the world was more complicated than that and it was all because of _him_. Clary knew she should be angry at him for forcing, tracking her down and dragging her in but she couldn't bring herself to hate him and that was one of the things she hated.

She hated not being able to hate him or hold him at fault. She hated how much he broke her. How, just seeing him make her heart fracture in a way that she had never felt before and honestly, she had no idea ow to deal with it. She was way in over her head. Clary sighed as she turned a corner.

She knew they weren't meant to be together. They were from separate worlds brought together by pure chance. Star crossed lovers never really ended up that great in a position anyway. Time says it's over and that she should move on but…she couldn't. She just couldn't let go of the feeling he gave her, of being weightless and having control of the world…of her life, of never having to think or worry about anything with him, like the world was kept at bay with the tip of his blade.

A breeze blew through and Clary stopped and basked in the cold. She turned her head up and twirled, feeling the ground shift beneath her and smelling the wet leaves from the former storm. She wished she could follow the air around the world, to Italy or China or India, anywhere else but here. She wished could feel it floating through her, lifting her up and spiraling around in its forces like a leaf. She didn't belong in either world, mortal or shadowhunter. She just wanted to go away, somewhere in the warm sunshine without all of the darkness, somewhere where she fit in.

But she couldn't and now she has to fumble blindly in this new world with new emotions. She didn't have a clue what she was doing and already she made a mistake. Clary stepped up the steps of the dilapidated church. She had no choice but to deal with it- her lovesick mistake, the one she never intended to make. The door creaked open as she looked up.

"Jace." She breathed.

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**Hey readers! Sorry I haven't updated in a while but there has just been so much going on with school and I'm also writing my original work so things get crazy up here. Anyway I plan on updating soon but please, it might take me a while and I found some spare time so I decided to write this one shot. It is based in the song "Lovesick Mistake" by Erin Mccarley. I really recommend it, it's a great song. **


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